FinancialMy mother gave me the best advice on marriage. The day of my wedding my mother pulled me to the side and said, Be careful of criticizing your wife. It is those very things that you criticize that kept her from getting a better husband.
Advice
I often reflect back on my mothers wisdom and just laugh until my stomach hurts! She was 100% right. We may hate to admit it, but the fact that our life partner is not perfect is the reason why we were able to get them in the first place.or is the reason why someone else has not come along and stolen them away. J
Both women and men are guilty of nagging their mates to a point of submission or repulsion. This is a vicious cycle that ranges from a subtle jab to an outright verbal assault. But, by definition (mine anyways) nagging is unwanted feedback. And, unwanted feedback given consistent will lead to the eventual demise of any relationship.
People who are known for nagging often lack a filter. They are missing something that will help them to pick their battles and their timing. It is important that you prioritize your grievances and corrections. Of course you should address major gripes. But, you want to be cautious of minor issues that you blow up into being something big. (Remember: My mommas advice!) Another form of filtering is analyzing your gripe to see if it is a Deal Breaker or not. A Deal Breaker is anything that would have prevented you from committing to marriage if you knew it would be like this. If your gripe isnt a Deal Breaker issue, then you may need to let it go. Finally, you must prioritize your position by identifying if it is a one time issue or a reoccurring problem. If you are constantly bothered by something then you should proceed forward with initiating productive conversations. However, if it is the first time that you have run into this gripe (provided it is not major) then you should let it go.
Steps
Use the following three questions to serve as your filter from nagging your spouse:
1) How important is my gripe?
2) Would I have still married my partner if I knew about this before hand?
3) Is this the first time I have been bothered by this situation?
Additional Options
As a final note, this motherly advice did not apply to abusive relationships. It was meant to force us to reflect on our own shortcomings prior to pointing out our mates. Feel free to post a situation that you want explored deeper for additional options. If this is really a long term problem you have had then one blog wanted fix it, but it can begin the process. Click on Ask Will to get specific wanted feedback on your situation. J